I have been keeping this guilt locked up inside me for 10 years.....?

When i was a young tot, i had a sexy little lizard named lisander. One day, when I was hoovering, i felt a huge sexual urge to hoover up the lizard i took a quick juke about to see if anyone was home, got neekid and sucked that sexy little lizard up. One year later...... i was lying about in a caravan, bored of life.... i found some juicy caterpillars outside. I felt that feeling in my belly i felt when i sucked up that sexy lizard. I grabbed the caterpillar and threw it in the microwave. I nearly cried with happiness when the caterpillar EXPLODED. What do you think this means? I think about it every night......